Wednesday December 20th

We Aren't Scientists vs We Are Scientists

On November 9th, wearentscientists.com took a journey over to London, England to have a couple of quiet words with We Are Scientists. We crashed their dressing room, drank their beer and insulted their videos. This was the result.

Part One

Alison: Did you really meet at a Dawson’s Creek screening?
Keith: We don’t know anymore, that bit of mythology has now become unclear.
Chris: That is how I remember it
(Michael arrives mid question)
Michael: What bit of mythology?
Keith: We thought it to be true. That you could walk upright
Michael: What bit of mythology wherein we walk upright?
Chris: Keith and I met at a Dawson’s Creek screening in my room. That’s where I remember meeting him but he contends that we had actually met prior to that. Michael is not going to be able to clear this up because I don’t think either of us knew Michael at this point.
Keith: I knew Michael.
Chris: Oh you did? You met Michael before you met me?
Keith: Oooh yeah.
Michael: I met Keith before I met you. Keith asked me to be in a band with him. No, Keith’s friend asked me to be in a band with him and Keith.
Keith: Yeh
Michael: And I said no.
Keith: Tell them why Michael. Tell them what band you were in at the time.
Michael: Cos I was already busy with my band… Lead Pipe Justice.
Chris: Lead. Pipe. Justice. Of all things.
Keith: That was a good answer. ‘I was already busy with my band Lead Pipe Justice.’
Chris: They were getting signed around then.
Keith: They did 3 Brixton’s.
Michael: We were playing the Muddhole.
Keith: They did 3 Muddhole's, which is like doing 3 Brixton’s.
Chris: That’s the Claremont Colleges equivalent.
Michael: We played the second floor of the Atwood dorm. I don’t know of you guys know that.
Chris: Twice.
Keith: Not 2 in a row though.
Chris: 2 different semesters.
Michael: I didn’t even meet Chris in college. I met him when they were living in Berkley and I went to visit this guy (gestures to Keith) he was in the kitchen with his hand down the...
Chris: …Garbage disposal… Well it’s my kitchen, I’ll put my hand where I darn well please.
Keith: And he did.
Chris: And I did, I got my hand all the way down under the sink. I was up to my shoulders in the garbage disposal. It was amazing. The best day of my life.

Alison: Did you have a nice day off yesterday?
Keith: Day off! What day off?
Chris: We did press all day, we went to the radio station.
Keith: Yeah when I told our caterer today that we hadn’t had a day off, cos she asked the very same question, she sorta got smug, and challenged me with a “well did you sing yesterday?” and then I said “yes I did”, then she was deflated. I turned her own pen on her.
Alison: What did you sing yesterday?
Chris: We are on a radio 1 show for Colin Murray, and it’s like an hour long show and we hang out with him so we did some acoustic stuff. It hasn’t aired yet, it airs in 3 weeks I think. They tape them just when people are available.
Keith: It’s meant to be live, so if you could do Colin Murray a favour and post date this.

Alison: Keith – you like The OC. Have you seen the new series?
Keith: No my passion for The OC has waned. I mean I’ll watch it. I’ll watch every episode
Chris: With vigour. Or else.
Alison: So if someone handed you the DVD you’d happily watch it.
Keith: Absolutely. And I’ll do things like download it for 7 hours until the episode is complete then watch it. I’ll do that yeah. Did you see the newest one? How is it?
Chris: The season has already started?
Alison: Yeah it’s quite dark.
Michael: No spoilers! Who dies?
Keith: Marissa died last time. They’re not going to kill someone in the first episode.

Alison: Who do you like touring with best? Art Brut, Editors, Arctic Monkeys?
Chris: Not Editors!
Keith: No way, not Editors.
Chris: They’re all good apart from Editors.
Alison: I see you’ve got one Editor here tonight.
Keith: I don’t know what this says about the in band politics. Tom is coming tomorrow, I think Gary and Russell are coming tomorrow.
Chris: Chris is coming tonight or one night?
Keith: Nah Chris is coming both nights.
Chris: This is a secret; I mean it’s fine if you broadcast it on the internet. But Chris has always wanted to be in We Are Scientists, well since we first toured with them.
Keith: I think before he met us, he sensed something, he sensed a longing, didn’t know how to place it. He thought it was directed at women. Turns out, it was We Are Scientists.
Chris: And he continues to take it out on them. But only because we rebuff him again and again. But yeah, if we offered Chris a position driving a truck he would leave Editors right now. Much less actually playing an instrument onstage. I have that on the highest level of confidence. I know that to be true.

Ellie: Given the popularity of Michael on lead vocals for the encore, have you considered swapping him with Keith for some songs?
Keith: Please.
Chris: Oh my god. Considered it? We did it once, and it was a holocaust. Keith’s throat got really sick once and we had a show and we thought - well, why skip it, Michael can carry a tune. The crowd revolted! They almost tore him apart.
Keith: it was like 25 hundred krakens rising from the sea.
Chris: it was amazing, yeah if you can imagine a kracken setting aside his lone wolf lifestyle to team up with 2499 other krackens.
Keith: To be fair, it wasn’t because he can’t sing, it just that his style didn’t fit. Imagine Tony The Scatman Robbins, or whatever that guys name is, singing for We Are Scientists? Yeah, the mans got skill, does it work? I don’t know.
Chris: The crowd voted No, Unanimously. To a child they voted no.
Alison: There’s a video on the internet where Michael is singing, and Keith, you just push his head away and take over.
Keith: I had to push it away. His head was in the one place I wanted to be on that stage.
Chris: Well see I remember that moment, and there was a photographer in the pit and Michael's head was directly between the lens and Keith's head.
Keith: I screamed.
Chris: And so he just moved Michaels head, even just 2 feet to the left was enough. Then nature could proceed.

Alison: How many new songs have you actually written? Obviously you’re playing two at the moment.
Chris: That's an interesting question.
Keith: How do you measure a song?
Chris: Yeah what’s a song? How do you define a song?
Ellie: it’s got a tune, it’s got words, it’s got a beginning, a middle and it’s got an end.
Chris: Oh two then. Well one.
Keith: But we're playing two new ones. Two new tracks.
Chris: But by your definition we're playing one song.

Ellie: Are you gonna get Hot Club de Paris on stage for your encore? [Ellie is buddies with the support band and likes to namedrop them at every opportunity]
Chris: No.
Michael: Of course.
Chris: No.
Keith: The question is, will they be able to get onstage?
Chris: If they can get past security guards who weigh 3 times what they do, then yes.
Michael: We've given everyone images of their faces and said these guys will not come onstage.
Chris: Everyone has polaroids. These guys come onstage at the price of your job. Sir, or ma’am, couple of them were fearsome guards here. The female guards use blades.
Keith: Really really tiny old woman.
Chris: But they'll cut you.

Alison: Do you feel under pressure to write another...
Keith: To get Hot Club on the stage?
Chris: I guess now, yeah!
Alison: ...To write another great album?
Chris: We're pressured by our desire for boats and houses and things like that.
Keith: I mean the same way I sometimes feel pressure to have a bowel movement - it's the easiest thing in the world, but there's a little pressure involved!
Chris: Yeah. I think that's more than just a metaphor.

Ellie: At the Bristol Show, according to Alison, Keith mentioned that Best Behaviour was about someone cheating on their girlfriend. Chris – is it about your illicit affair with Storme? [if this Q makes no sense, take a look at this]
Chris: First of all if I can just clear the air on that whole thing, there’s nothing illicit about it, my girlfriend gave me the okay.
Keith: And it’s perfectly natural, and it’s PERFECTLY natural.
Chris: For two human beings to feel what Storme and I feel for each other.
Keith: That is friction.
Chris: And to do what we do about it, well that’s absolutely fine, you look in any biology book and you’ll find a description and if that’s not nature then I don’t know what is.
Ellie: The furore around it was pretty amusing.
Chris: yeah it was pretty funny, I was drunk when I wrote that response and I stand by it to this day.
Keith: Well, he’s drunk now.
Chris: Yeah I’m drunk now, it’s worth noting. But I do think that an unfortunate thing that we see happen to Storme literally every day, is people don’t give her the respect they’d give a male Storme. Especially a guy named Storme. He would get an incredible amount of respect.
Keith: He’d be widely feared.

Ellie: I didn’t realise you read your forum. How do you trawl through it?
Chris: Sheer curiosity. It’s just compelling reading.
Keith: It’s just good reading, yeh.
Chris: It’s great form.
Keith: That’s the thing, even when there’s nothing that’s really interesting being talked about, it’s just the language that’s used.
Chris: It’s so fresh
Keith: It’s so masterful.
Chris: it just pops off the page you know.
Ellie: Do you not find it a mission to read all of it?
Chris: You mean are we zealous about it? Yes we are. In that sense it’s a mission.
Keith: Chew it right up.
Chris: it’s like diving into a box of confectionary. It’s addictive and it’s sweet and it bursts in your mouth and it makes you fat. I don’t know if this metaphor works.
Keith: It still holds.

Alison: Who’s the most hedonistic member?
Chris: Hard to say.
Alison: Is it Michael?
Chris: You think it’s Michael? Well maybe actually…
Keith: Wait, just because the Independent says that!
Chris: If an objective third party thinks that…
Michael: What is the question?
Ellie: He can’t be that hedonistic, he has his jumper inside out.
Keith: That’s because he dived into a swarming mass of junkies and strippers and when he came out his sweater was on inside out. He came out 45 minutes later.
Chris: He had a smudge on the front and so he turned it inside out.
Alison: It’s certainly not Keith because he’s the only one drinking water.
Keith: Heeeey cheers.
Chris: You child!
Keith: Its moonshine I made, in my own body.
Chris: What!? Now that’s hedonism. That’s a dedication to physical pleasure. Over all most anything else I guess. Does it feel good to make that?
Keith: Noo it burns. Physical pleasure over physical comfort.

Alison: How hard is it to play with a hangover, do you do it often?
Chris: Constantly. Actually, I find - you guys, tell me if I’m wrong - I find that playing with a hangover is a great hangover cure. A lot of the time I’m hungover until the show then after the show I feel fine. I think it’s just physical activity.
Keith: It’s true.
Chris: If I wake up really hungover I’m like oooh I can’t wait until it’s an hour before the show and I can reasonably start drinking and then play the show because then I know after that CURED. This miracle cure. Hangovers can be cured by playing a live music show. Have a couple of beers beforehand, sorta the hair of the dog. A lot of the time I wake up with a hangover and then I hit the bottle and it only hurts. I just mentioned the word bottle and Keith is currently gesticulating his mouth in a way that denotes almost voracious thirst... and he’s going for the beer!

Alison: What's your favourite country to play in, apart from England obviously.
Chris: You don't have to make that exception!
Alison: Did you like Iceland?
Keith: Yeh
Chris: Iceland was fun, we were only there for 26 hours of something.
Keith: That’s why it was my favourite. They got us in and out, didn’t need to be bothered with Iceland. Heck of a place.
Chris: Really efficient.
Keith: They take care of you there.
Chris: They really do.
Keith: Like Germany, gotta hang out for 5 fucking days in Germany.
Chris: We’ve had good and bad times in all the countries we’ve been to. Except for Iceland, we only played one show.
Keith. Nothing but good times.

Alison: How do you cope with obsessive fans?
Chris: Bullets.
Keith: We cope with them by making thousands of dollars.

PART 2 tomorrow features Crap Attack, Navy Seals dog sledding and much much more.